Journal of a stay-at-home expat Mom of 3 kids and a cat in Switzerland
Category: Journey Journal
Here you will find posts about the highlights of each month. It is my way of keeping myself accountable to the 1000 Hours or Outside Challenge that we track with the kids.
To unload the weight of my thoughts I carry around all day long. To explore some of the ideas that pop to my mind. Does it worth my time? Is this idea something I could squeeze into our days? Is it a child friendly activity? Could it be done with three little ones at toe? Caring for three kids and being surrounded by not one, but three grown ups, it is easy to just go with the flow. I cannot help, but feel sometimes that I have accomplish nothing. Blogging keeps me accountable in so many levels. It gives me a purpose.
I also fear of old age and the state of my brain ends up in. Ladies in my family end up not knowing much about themselves for the last few years of their lives. It is sad and scary, but I try not to think about it too much by focusing on the present and recording precious memories.
How I Write a Blog Post?
Typing it up and seeing it appear on the screen in front of me makes it a task that needs to be completed one way or another. It switches on my admin mind – thick that box.
Brain Dump
I jot down my thoughts mostly through the jetpack app and save it as a draft, then I move on with my day as if nothing happened. The Jetpack app is truly easy to use, and I don’t have to carry around my beloved diary, which is an extra weight. Unfortunately, I am part of the generation who switched one hand into a mobile, which in this instance is a blessing rather than a curse.
Brain Storming
When time allows, I open up my drafts and read through my rough notes. It’s important that I do this when I have time to think and get into the zone. This is the time when I really feel my creative engine switch on. Then I turn the notes into a draft by expanding them with some extra thoughts. At this point, I am still just dumping ideas down in a mostly unorganised manner.
Approval Process
It is really liberating to unload. It helps the decision making process. Debating if it is something I should spend more time doing, or just to let it go and with that free up some mental space. Either way these random exercise is useful.
Actual writing
Writing happens throughout the day, when I have a few minutes between feeding, nappy changing, cooking, and our outdoor adventures. Often it takes over a week to go around a topic and produce a coherent blog post. This is just life for me at the moment and I wouldn’t change it.
This is not my time to commit to unrealistic schedule. This is not my time to keep up with the latest trends and try to beat the ‘algorithm’. This is my time to be present and respond to little people’s needs. This is my time to work around their schedule and be there for them.
Where Do I See ‘Expat Mom Journal’ in a Years Time?
My ultimate reward would be to grow this platform into a community of like-minded people. Where the blog has multiple voices and not just one and only, like at the moment. I believe that parenting can feel lonely from time to time, especially for those doing it full time. Not necessarily because you are alone. Your other half perhaps at home in the evenings and weekends or on another type of schedule. The point is that you, full time parent, have no schedule, you are available at all times without a break. And for some, or sometimes to all, it can feel like a lot.
Sharing lighthearted stories about the good, the bad, and the ugly, may ease the bourdon of being stuck, being alone in catch twenty two. So if you feel that your situation is similar to mine and would like to join the movement, let me know! Get in touch: via socials, comment or via the contact form.
The newborn-moon period is over. It’s time to work on a new system that caters for all. Unfortunately, my husband’s paternity leave has ended, and he is back to work. Our eldest child, B, was back in kindergarten. At least he was at the start of the week. However, on Wednesday afternoon he started to feel under the weather. It became clear that he was ill when his temperature 🤒 went up. We gave him Calpol twice that day and he slept through the night. The next two days, he spent at home resting. And of course by the time weekend came around, he was getting better 🌟
Then Saturday afternoon, our daughter woke up crying with high fever just before midnight. Quick Calpol, many hugs and we tucked her back into her cot. Here comes Sunday and all three kids are poorly. The smallest one is only 17 days old, but he also got the cough and runny nose. Days like these are truly appreciate the fact that we live in a multi-generational household. I always think about all the single parents out there with the deepest respect. If it’s you, I salute you!
System Building
This week I wanted to concentrate on building a flexible system to guide me throughout the day. I am trying to balance many things around the kids schedule without going crazy. I would like to keep some space in our days for my wellbeing, so I can recharge my batteries and be a better person. There are only x amount of hours within the day, so I have thought hard how to balance everything. Can certain tasks be combined and carried out simultaneously? In theory, the answer is yes! As long as it involves everyone, why not, right? Well… we shall see in the coming weeks.
Schedule
6:00
7:00
8:00
9:00
10:00
11:00
Old Morning Routine
Coding
Wake up kids
Breakfast
Morning walk
Cleaning
Cooking
New MorningRoutine
Morning Walk
Wake up kids
Breakfast
Morning walk
Decluttering / Cleaning
Coding
I would like to start the day with a morning walk, just like I did while I was pregnant with my daughter. Now that the days are getting longer, I can soon start going out before the kids wake up. This walk is all about me and some music or podcast I choose to start the day with.
After breakfast ideally I would head outside with our daughter for a little bike ride, or just messing around at the local playground. She is happy to stay in the cold outdoors, for about 30-40 minutes. Then we go inside, where I go through a zone per day to eliminate things I no longer use or need. Meanwhile, I wait for our daughter to give me some signs when she is ready for her nap. Mostly, she is down by 11 am but it all depends on what time she wakes up in the morning. Once she is asleep I can focus on my coding journey. I am currently learning some JavaScript for the millionth time 😦 .
This is my second golden hour: My daughter is usually asleep and my son is not yet back from kindergarten. By eliminating the lunch prep task, I can free up this sacred time for my benefit.
Schedule
12:00
13:00
14:00
15:00
16:00
Old Afternoon Routine
Lunch
Quiet time
Gardening
Outdoors
Outdoors
New Afternoon Routine
Lunch
Coding
Outdoors / Gardening
Outdoors / Gardening
Outdoors / Gardening
After lunch time while my son has quiet time, I can carry on coding. Once my daughter is up from her nap time, and she filled up her tummy, we can head outside. Currently it is hard to handle the two eldest outside alone. One would like to play football, frisbee, or tennis. While our daughter just want to go, go, and go. If she decides to do something, nobody and nothing can stop her. I hope it will change soon, as it would be fun to show her things, and do some activities together with his brother.
In general, it would be great to spend most of the afternoon outside, however this time is purely led by our children. I listen to their needs, while I try to extend the time we are outside. I plan to do some gardening while they are playing, but not sure how it will work out. Previously I separated gardening from outdoor time, but I hope this is something we manage to do side by side and the kids will eventually get inspired by nature and growing things.
Schedule
17:00
18:00
19:00
20:00
21:00
Old Evening Routine
Prep dinner
Dinner
Bath
Bed time (kids)
Coding
New Evening Routine
Dinner & Lunch prep
Dinner
Bath-Story-Bed
Blogging
Unwind
In the evening, I plan to prep dinner as well as lunch for the next day. With a little forward thinking, one hour should be enough to prep for both mealtimes. After dinner bath and bedtime. Once the kiddies are in bed, I spend some time on the blog, while hubby plays a bit on our son’s Nintendo Switch 🙂 We both like to watch some limited series on Netflix to unwind at the end of the day.
1000 hours outside
My personal goal is to increase my daily step count to 20K. I hope to shed some weight without any special workouts. Walking perfectly fits with my commitment to the 1000 hours outside challenge this year and sneakily I hope to inspire my kids to be outdoorsy ‘like their Mom’ or even more.
Two weeks after the operation my step count was finally over 15K for the first time since our baby boy was born. What an achievement. I was so nervous about third time recovery. I have never in my wildest dreams imagined that I will be so active a couple of weeks after re-re-section.
Overall, we logged 9 hours for the second time this year. As you can see on the photos, snow covered the fields at the beginning of the week. Then by Saturday we were enjoying the warmth of the sunshine on our skin. I am looking forward to next week. It is sports holiday, which means there is no kindergarten and more time to spend in the nature.
Language skills
Nearly a year ago, we moved from the UK to the German-speaking part of Switzerland 🇨🇭. It is beautiful here and we love the area. However, we don’t speak German 🇩🇪 YET.
Our eldest just started kindergarten in August last year. He has two mini German lessons a week with the school’s English teacher. It is more like a friendly chat/game than a formal lesson.
I want to help him as much as possible, but unfortunately, I don’t know how to speak German. To ensure that I don’t teach him anything incorrectly, I am thinking to focus on passive learning. Just playing with words should be fun. He is asking more and more questions about how to write specific words and how to read certain signs / phrases.
This month’s payday gift was a letter game. Letters are displayed on tiny wooden dice and there are multiple dice of the same letter. In German language every noun has a gender, similar to Italian. So I am thinking of coming up with a vocabulary game that compares nouns, so he can connect the words he already knows in one language or another. I am thinking to use day to day topics of activities he does during the day.
In our family we speak many different languages. Sometimes one of us will struggle to remember a word in that particular language we use at that moment. Then we would ask the other person to help by saying it in another language (whatever form it is remembered). And this whole dilemma ends up with a discussion of this of word in all the languages we speak and any other way we know but not necessarily speak.
I will let you know how it goes after a couple of times weeks.
This week brought us another wave of snow outdoors. Before moving to Switzerland, I always imagined that the winters are generally white across the country.
But now I know that this isn’t necessarily the case. We dedicated most of our time to bonding, and getting to know each other, and ourselves as a family of five / seven.
We live under the same roof with my parents, so I cannot leave them out of the equation, of course. Living in a multi-generational setting means we are never outnumbered with the kids. It also means more type of relationships, and more possibilities.
Hubby was still home with us (on paternity), which was very special. The kids love being woken up, and put to bed by him. He is going back to work next Tuesday, after being off for almost a month. It will be strange not have him around during the day (especially in the morning times).
Outdoors in sub zero with little kids
It was M’s first time being outside for some free roaming in proper snow and ice conditions. She’s been walking, running, falling for 2 months now. She is generally quiet happy to spend 90 minutes outdoors exploring and playing. However, in this week’s sub-zero temperature her limit to play outside has shrank to about 30 minutes.
There are many contributing factors to the shorter threshold:
Too many layers – reduces mobility
NO! – she says to gloves:
gloves on – she cannot hold or touch anything
gloves off – well, cold hands
Slippery ice – many falls
Deep snow – of course with such tiny legs, the snow gets to her knees
Failed attempt to pull her on the sleigh – it tipped over and she fell head first in the fresh powder snow
Despite all the odds, she is keen to head out every day – preferably twice a day. Often she picks up her little shoes at home and brings it to me. “Hey, Mommy! It’s time to get going!” – I imagine she would say if she would be verbal.
Longer walks
This week I managed to sneak out for a longer walk with Dad. Courtesy of Mom, who volunteered to stay with my eldest in front of the house playing with the ball. He is not keen on walking, I guess it is boring for a five year old to walk and talk, and not to play with something on the journey. Luckily, he is content to stay close to the house and play in the garden or on the porch. Mom is similar, she prefers to do something rather than getting lost in the forest or in the countryside. On the contrary, Dad and I could walk and walk and walk, day and night.
We took the youngest member of the family in a carrier with us. O was nice and cosy on my chest. As soon as I put him in the winter overall, he is fast asleep.
1000 Hours Outside challenge
Weekly total 4:36 min in the fresh air. One day indoors, but all other days we managed to get out a little. Time spent outside varies from 24 minutes to over an hour.
Overall, we spent about 38 hours in the nature since we started the challenge back on the 8th December. I am happy with the result so far. I know it is not too much but under the current circumstances it is better than I thought it would be. I know that once winter is over, we will be able to spend much more time outdoors.
This week we got to know our freshest family member who we cherish for the rest of our lives.
Baby Boy was delivered by a group of excellent specialists Tuesday afternoon. The operation went well, although it took longer than the first two together. It is understandable as it was my third section.
After spending three days in the hospital, it was finally time for us to head back home. We left with some valuable advice, a prescription, and an industrial breast pump. As we walked out of the doors, I couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of relief and excitement to be back in our own space. However, as we got into the car, I started to feel anxious, trying to imagine how we were going to handle everything at once.
How will I manage a day without the nurses’ care, support, and the hospital bed that helps me sit or stand after a major surgery?
It didn’t take long to realise that nothing can compare to the healing power of being in the comfort of my own home. Being surrounded by familiar things, in a safe environment and having my loved ones close by, listening to them talk about their day since I left to give birth, had a profound effect on me.
Living in a multi-generational household is a blessing in such situations. It takes a village to raise children – they say. Having my parents around means that my husband and I are never outnumbered with the kids.
Overall, I feel that the first three days after operation were harder than ever before. However, the days after the initial hardship, were much easier. It allowed me to enjoy the bonding time at home with the rest of the family. No outdoor hours this week, only resting and nursing hours 🙂
Imagine a scene, sitting in the lounge of the hospital with your husband and eldest son (the 5-year-old). Feeling the weight of the worry settling in after being told that your newborn has now lost more than 10% of his birth weight.
Blame, fear, and worry are boiling inside me while I try to appear calm in front of my eldest child. It’s not an easy balance to maintain.
Meanwhile, a little girl of about 3 years old fell off the wooden pushbike provided by the hospital in the lounge for older siblings visiting their mothers.
Empathy
My five-year-old loudly reacts and asks: oh oh! Alles Guet? – at the same time, I can only remember to ask her in English at the same time under my breath.
Confidence
The little girl seemed unharmed and without a second thought, she hopped back onto her bike and raced over to her parents who were seated at the back of the lounge. My son was unfazed by this and confidently shared with me and the others in the cafeteria that the simplest and most effective way to make friends with strangers is to ask them if they are okay.
Proud Parents
At that moment, everything else vanished from my thoughts. All I could see was this tiny human being, and his pure heart that he opened up in front of everyone.
These random moments merely last a few seconds or minutes. However, on days like today, it gives me hope, that we are moving towards a better future.
Christmas Garden at Insel Mainau was a super experience overall. We started off the new year with a morning walk around our village. Then in the evening we booked tickets to see the Christmas Garden at Mainau island. I feel like this could easily become a New Year’s Day tradition for our family.
The show starts at 5 pm and runs between late November until the first week of January. The trail leads you through the park with numerous lit up hedges and statues. Expect ups and downs and if you are with a buggy, there are some alternative routes to avoid stairs. Our eldest is not keen on any activity in the dark, but we know that about him. So a head and hand-held torch is a must in our backpack. Being 38 weeks pregnant has definitely put a stamp on the experience, however there were plenty of benches to take a rest. Half way through, at the castle we found little huts serving mulled wine and kinder punch. The mugs are beautifully designed and for 2 euro, you are more than welcome to take them home with you.
Today is the last day of event. See you next year Christmas Garden at Insel Mainau.
Home
Living in the countryside provides tremendous amount of space to roam around fields and grounds. Having two completely different kiddies, makes play time interesting. One is happy to follow instructions, while the other will have a ‘drop-on-the-ground-meltdown’ when she hears her name. I always wonder if she thinks she is told off by her reaction.
Kreuzlingen Seeburgpark
One of our favourite spot it the Seeburgpark playground at Kreuzlingen. Parking is reasonable, but on the hind side it is busy most of the time. The playground is only a short walk away pass the restaurant and the harbour. There are many different constructions for the kids and grow ups: swings, slides, paddling pool, sandpit, pirate ship and train climbing frame, seesaws and spring animals. Opposite the playground there is a minigolf park with reasonable catering available on site. There is an open field frisbee park between the minigolf and the lookout point.
We like to take the kids bikes and scooters as the terrain is made up of both gravel and concrete.
Great way to extend the hours spent outdoors is to visit the Tierpark, which is right by the side of the playground. In exchange for a small donation (honesty box), animal nibbles can be picked up to feed the zoo animals. Should you wish to go further, the Seeburg castle and the lake trail has plenty to offer.
Week ahead
Next week Kindergarten is back for 3 weeks before it breaks up again for winter sport week. It is also a week when we finally meet the newest member of our family. We couldn’t be more excited about our growing family. I have a planned C section on Tuesday, which will probably knock me off my feet for a couple of weeks. However I am so lucky to have a great supportive family, so I know our kiddies will be in good hands, while their Mummy is being taken care of in the hospital.
Working a bit backwards, I am finally setting us up for a great year ahead. Due date is in 5 days, I cannot think of a better way to set some goals and directions for the new year.
W H Y ?
Unintentionally, I started to focus on the importance of being outdoors with the kids at the beginning of December.
This was due to several factors. The nights got longer, and with the limited daylight hours, I felt the urge to schedule some free outdoor time for when both kids can roam around.
Moving into the winter months the temperature dropped, so we had less fresh air indoors which was another motivational factor.
But most importantly, ever since my daughter turned 17 months old, she started to have intense meltdowns. I am talking about going from zero to hero ugly, banging herself to the ground, in 2.5 seconds. It was scary for me to experience this, especially since my son, who is now 5 years old, never had such challenges.
A month later she started to walk pretty much from one day to another as she turned 18 months old. She clearly needed more space to master these new skills she gained.
H O W
What can be more secure than a huge grass field. So I invested some warm wool overalls and a pair of sturdy shoes. We took a short walk to accompany her older brother to the bus stop each morning. Then we went outside to wait for Daddy to come home in the afternoon – just before dinner time.
These two little commitments become part of our daily routine. And with that the kids temper became more regulated. Tantrums haven’t gone away, but they became more manageable. I became more level headed and patient as well.
W H A T
What do we do? What ever the kids feel like. We are lucky to have a small climbing frame with couple of slides right at our doorsteps. We keep a football outside as an invitation for play – it works like magic with the kids in the neighbourhood. While we are waiting for the school bus to turn up the kids kick the ball around and burn some energy right before they head into Kindergarten / School.
W H E N
Started to record our time spent outdoors on 8th December 2023. The challenge stretches over a year, hence total hours will be announced on 7th December 2024.
R E S O U R C E S
I got inspired by the many many instagram posts that you can check out by searching the #1000hoursoutside. Of course I headed over to their website https://www.1000hoursoutside.com/ where I found numerous resources and links. I then hooked up to their podcast channel, which I regularly listen while the kids are playing.
Expat Mom Journal 